Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Memo to My Children

From: Mum
To: My Children
Date: Tuesday 30th October 2007

Re: Taking Sick Days on a Tuesday

This memo is a request to my school aged children that you pleeeeaaaassseee do not choose Tuesdays as a sick day.

My reasons are as follows:

* If you are sick on a Tuesday (this applies only if you are BOTH sick) then my little baby has to take the bus to kindy all on his own. :-( And 3 is MUCH too young to be going on a school bus on your own. I know he's almost 4 BUT that's still too young!!!! Okay, I know he had a huge smile on his face and didn't seem the least bit perturbed at the idea..... BUT HE'S MY BABY!!!!!! Waaaaahhhhhh........

* Tuesday is my "home alone" day. I figure if I have to suffer through the torment of waving goodbye to my BABY then I should at least have a nice quiet morning to look forward to. You know I love having you around but well, the thing is, the point of being home alone is to be, well....home. ALONE.

* I've paid good money for those music lessons and if you miss them well.... I still have to PAY. For NOTHING.... And well, no one likes paying for something they don't get.

* You miss library day and the library will send me nasty notices about those books you found under your bed that you borrowed last TERM...... plus we'll get to tomorrow and you'll be saying "we need to BUY more books mum cos there's nothing to read".

If you really *have* to fall sick on a Tuesday, could you please:

* Choose a Tuesday when your father isn't about to disappear into the vortex of harvest, leaving me as a single mother for who knows how many weeks.

* Choose a Tuesday on which your mother has actually had some SLEEP on the Monday night prior to.

* Co-ordinate with one another so that there is only 1 of you home at a time. At least that way there'll be half the whining and zero fighting (unless you've actually figured out a way to fight with yourselves - which is entirely probable).

* Learn to drive so that you can make yourselves useful by picking your father up from the paddock. At least that way I wouldn't have to do it!!!

* Make sure you're sick enough to lie on the couch SLEEPING.

* Not knock 65 times on the bathroom door while I'm trying to shower in PEACE. Sheesh.... how much can really go wrong in a teeny, tiny few minutes?????

* Not ask me every 5 minutes when the computer will be free. There is only room for 1 internet addict in this family and the position has been TAKEN!!!!!

Failure to adhere to the guidelines set out in this memo may result in wages pocket money being docked. Yes I know that half the time I forget to even give you pocket money but you do realise that only makes it EASIER to remember not to pay you?????? That doesn't make sense? It doesn't HAVE to make sense! Why? Cos I'm the MUM, that's why!!!!

Love you heaps,

Love Mum xxxxxxxxxxoooooooooo (yes, you really do have to give me that many kisses and hugs. After all, I am your MOTHER!!!!!)


Kirby said...

Oh your poor thing, mine always get sick on Tuesdays and Thursdays :(
An the little one taking the bus.... :( i feel your pain

Kelley said...

LMAO! MY day is Wednesday. I look forward to it all week and invariably SOMEONE will be sick or have the day off..... waaaa!!!

I love my Wednesdays. Tomorrow I am planning to N.O.T.H.I.N.G. and no bugger better be sick or there will be hell to pay!!

Anonymous said...

I can fully relate! I just smiled and smiled at your witty thoughts ! Thanks for your honesty ! LS

Kez said...

lol, good day then J?!

emma.jean said...

LOL Jodi, best wishes for kids-not-getting-sick-on-Tuesday. :)

Precious_1 said...

roflmao! the pocket money docking made perfect sense to me! I must admit that I forget to actually fork over the money half the time and the other half the time I just plain don't want to!

I used to soooooooo look forward to my "day off" when my kids were littler. I still get irritated on occasion when hubby is home on my "nothing on" days now lol He can't just "be home" he's got to "do stuff". And worse still he wants me to "do stuff" with him. Now I love to "do stuff" but when I have a nothing day planned I just want to do nothing and he buggers that up on me quite frequently. hmmm maybe I should send him a memo too! lol

lightening said...

LOL. It actually wasn't *too* bad a day really. I will admit I did use a little bit of "license" in writing that. Based on truth but not ALL truth...

Sissy said...

Wait! do Mother's really expect to get a day off, any day????? Hope you can work it out, lol. Mine are grown, but the old brain can still remember those days!

Tracy said...

I love your memo! (and can identify with it).

Thanks for leaving a note on my blog - I was delighted to find yours in return.

Mimi said...

that is wonderful orders for your kids... now if you can just get them to follow those orders you will have it made!!
of course you are the MOTHER aren't you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and everyone listens to MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kiwimum-goingfrugal said...

Lol great post :)
For me it is memo to mum - don't you get sick ever-never-foever!!!
At least us mum's don't have to make sense all the time, and have a lisence to forget things.
Take care

Precious_1 said...

well use a little literary licence at times writing about our families, but boy oh boy I could see some times past from my own experience in that! lmao

Simple Blog Writer said...

Please copy my children on that memo. Highlight the part about knocking on the bathroom door. Thanks.

lightening said...

sissy - no, I don't really expect to get a day off. :-) Just mucking around really.

tracy - hi and welcome! :-)

mimi - lol. Yes I am the MOTHER! Will someone pleeeeaassseee explain that to my children?

Alicia - that is true too. :-)

Precious - I guess that's what makes it funny. LOL. Enough truth that we can all related. :-)

Simple Blog Writer - will cc for your children ;-) lol